Avery and Emma: Happy 1st Birthday Avery!

The morning of Avery's birth, I remembered that I woke up and experienced my first contraction at 7:21am. I knew that was the day, because 10 minutes later, I had another one. I turned to Howard who was beginning to wake up, and softly told him, "You're going to be a Daddy today." His response was not as memorable... "Oh no, same birthday as Jeff's!" heh

By 9am, I had taken a shower and realized half way through the shower that my contractions were quickening to every 7 minutes. After I called my mom while I polished off my breakfast bagel, I measured the contractions coming in at what? was that 5 minutes? I couldn't tell, some were smaller than others, I wasn't sure if I should be counting those. They weren't really painful, so I wanted to wait and see. But Howard wanted to get me checked out, so we went.

By 10am, I was getting checked by a nice nurse at Pomona Valley Hospital named Ming. She declared me 8cm dilated, I was having my baby today. Was I feeling comfortable? What was my pain level from 1-10? I think i put it at 4-5. Can I walk to the labor and delivery room, or do I need a wheelchair? I laughed. Why? Because the baby might drop out on the way there? She deadpanned: "something like that". Well sheesh. If it were that easy, i better wear a diaper! (ok i did not say that outloud)

By 11am, I was 9cm, had an IV stuck in my hand, well-into my contractions, and Dr Phung, the on-call doc on that Sunday, had broken my water. Oh man, after that, the contractions were coming hard.

By 12pm, I was 10cm and 100% effaced. I still remember the pushing. Holding on to Howard's hand for dear life. Nurses and Doctor yelling at me to push. Someone screaming. That was me.

And then at 12:30pm, utter confusion spurred by delirium. They put something on my chest, heavy in weight, moving and slimy. I looked over at HOward, confused. He had tears in his eyes. I looked down, and a slimy, bloody creature was wigging quietly, eyes open and tongue sticking out. I don't really know why she didn't register in my brain for a good minute. Such a strange looking creature.

And so goes the day that Avery was born.

Motherhood is a funny thing. I really never understood the new moms who talk about "instant bonding" with their newborn straight out of the womb, or within a week, etc. I went through the motions of a new mom, worrying about how many poops she was taking, worrying about whether she was getting enough food. But those few days, few weeks went by slowly. She felt like a new toy rather than a human to me.

On Monday, she turned 1 year old. Each day I wake up in bed and I smile to myself as I hear her softly thumping in her crib, rolling around chattering to herself as she waits for one of us to pick her up. Smile at the anticipation of what the day holds through her eyes, the adventures we will have together. Smile at my incredible luck to have a wonderful partner in my husband, and that we have a precious little person to share our lives with. These days since I've stopped breastfeeding and decided that I deserve to sleep in since I don't need to rush to the breastpump, Howard has been taking the morning feedings. I roll around in bed, and then after a bit of waiting, Howard brings her to me through the bedroom door. She gives me a big smile and says Mama! as Howard plops her down on the bed next to me. Oh, how my heart swells to see her smile!